Saw Gary Numan last night, and other updates in life

So I went to see Gary Numan two days ago in Manchester, needless to say he was fantastic and so was his support band Officers. This is the second gig I've ever actually been to, the first was to see the Birthday Massacre, and even though I can't make a definitive decision as to who I like better, I enjoyed seeing Gary Numan more based on several factors such as being able to sit on a stool looking over the balcony overlooking the stage. There was a bar on the same floor so it was nice to have a drink whilst listening too.

Other than seeing Gary Numan and Officers, since my last blog post I've been selling a hell of a lot of stuff on Amazon, mainly games but at amazing prices for games being sold, it helped keep me going to say the least. Though with my crap health and physical limitations, it's always a pain in the arse to walk to the post office and back, hopefully that will pass though with an increase in fitness. I honestly don't know what else to say, been getting tired at around this time each day since fixing my poor sleeping pattern. So, if I think of anything I want to vent I'll get posting, I just don't have the energy right now.

A thoughtful vent about my Dyspraxia and what it makes me hate about life

Haven't been on here for a while, I probably should do more often though. Recently I've graduated from my foundation degree in Interactive Media Development and I've decided that this is it for the time being; not going back to education for at-least a year unless it's laid back, well organised and doesn't last a fucking year or two. Honestly it was stressful, the people who were meant to help organise the course kept screwing up, the building was hotter than the sun, the feeling of claustrophobia was inevitable and I had to study/research more information than my brain could process. Keep in note I also have Dyspraxia which made everything even harder to deal with; terrible organisational skills, poor balance, depression and anxiety leading to physical illness and my brain needing longer study time to process information.

Talking about my Dyspraxia, I was looking for a cure recently. There is no cure for Dyspraxia, I've tried looking everywhere but I'm having trouble finding absolutely anything. All I find are bricks of texts and information of childhood development; the best thing people can come up with is to suggest you get tested by a professional, what the hell is that meant to do? Make you realise, accept, and shut the fuck up? Honestly, I've even begun seeking information on connectedness between Dyspraxia and any sort of psychic activity, or anything that is beneficial that I can read just to pick myself up out of the depression that I just have to deal with this lifelong condition. The reason I think there could be benefits in mental performance other than than what people consider the norm is because Dyspraxia is a neural development disorder and is on the Autistic Spectrum, and those with Autism have an enhanced ability to perform other forms of mental activity due to their brain putting its power elsewhere, this will explain why people with Autism have less awareness in their surroundings and also have problems with speech; they have literally been developed with an altered brain-function, it's also why some people theorise that it would be morally wrong for professionals to remove Autism in patients if it were possible.

However, I have noticed that something (maybe non-technical) is beneficial in my personality. When I have an interest in a specific area, I will research it non-stop, even if I lose sleep over it. This is why I can probably give you a lot of advice about lucid dreaming or astral projection, even though I've never experienced these things due to my physical side-effects in Dyspraxia. I also used to be interested in David Icke and looked up much of his material on YouTube, but eventually I went off him after the information he shared made me anxious; he offered no cure to the problem other than telling people to focus their heart chakra on the athletes during the opening ceremony of the 2012 Olympics, as satanists have planted devices that induce electromagnetic signals to alter what I'm guessing are the brainwave frequencies of athletes (the entrainment of the brain being a real thing, look up binaural beats and isochronic tones).


I'm not sure what else to talk about to be honest, this was really just a thoughtful vent at various strains in my life recently. I would talk about why Facebook has bugged me recently too but I honestly think that people know the problems of it in-side out already, so no point me ranting. Maybe another time!

Few paragraphs about Social Networking

Now I come here because I need to type something out somewhere and I thought my personal blog would be the place. My main issue is that, why don't people have any patience? I can simply explain my impatience with others that it comes from years of insecurity and being blasted down for being myself, so I always automatically assume people are saying the worst thing imaginable purely because of the comparative past.

But the thing is, I always want to resolve things, to let people know that my insecurity and paranoia isn't because of them (when it's applicable that is). I'll give an example, I can't stand it how people don't make an effort to make you feel better when they know perfectly well that they're the cause of your emotional discomfort, if it's with Facebook they won't comment your status explaining themselves (do I dare suggest them saying sorry), they'll instead make a vague status describing you as "People" and say you're being paranoid, usually with an aggressive emoticon to suggest you're a complete bastard for being insecure. That's right, not a disappointed or upset emoticon, but a furious one to suggest that they're the only ones that are allowed to have feelings. I used to have a similar problem however, when I didn't feel confident enough to explain anything or discuss problems with people, it would be shared on Facebook for all my friends to see, and I admit that it was wrong. I've grown out of it though and even though I know that counterfeit insecurity is possibly where the problem lies, it's still a bit of an insult to know that they don't care about your feelings, and I know full-well that a comment on their counterfeit status would just cause bitching and whining.

And there's the issue, why is the system of society's behaviour like that? I firmly believe that it's the natural human collision of realising that they've done something wrong and their insecure reaction, and this leads to the minor behaviour of arrogant aggressiveness which I truly think is accidental. However I think the accidental effect only lasts for a few seconds and slowly they begin to convince themselves that what they did or said is correct and that they themselves did not do anything wrong.

The whole circle is a bit complicated, and I myself have difficulty imagining the whole situation unravelling in a pub, or somewhere of physical social interaction. So it raises the question, is the Internet to blame? In my opinion, it's not the definitive blame. The Internet has just raised emphasis on the social negativity brought on by free speech and the Anonymous descriptions that can be given by social networks, that being sharing statuses and tweets and such. Facebook is a huge impact on it, it has so many ethical errors and has discovered so many holes in privacy it's unbelievable.

Just saying all this, I'm a bit more confident in my own belief of why paranoia is quite unnecessary.

Peace out.

A little about games

My last post was typed up and posted at 1337 hours, amazing.

Started playing a game on my mobile phone the other day called Peggle which was pre-installed. It's actually amazingly fun, and me and my girlfriend took turns to play it when I was at her house for a week.

The game was pretty fiddly, due to the phone being touch screen, and the screen isn't that big. Although it is fun, the aim of the game is to basically light up all 25 orange pegs on a map with a total of 10 balls to begin with, you can get free balls sometimes if you're lucky enough to get a big enough score in one shot or your ball happens to land in what's called the free ball basket which moves from left to right at the bottom of the screen. Sounds funky don't it? Gets better, you get 2 pegs on a map which activate powers which when hit can cause a variety of effects, like multi-ball or fireball.

Anyway enough about talking about the actual game, the whole fiddly effect caused me to wish the game was on PC, which I found out it was! You use your mouse to drop the ball wherever, and the graphics are a lot more sharp, and you can't forget the fun little sound effects you hear when the ball hits one of the pegs.

I can safely say, if I had a bunch of games like that installed on my computer, and a load of modern FPS games installed, I'd probably play the first bunch more. Reason being, is that most mainstream games nowadays are not original in my opinion, they're all about killing other soldiers of killing terrorists, or a game that looks like it's trying to be World of Warcraft which I personally think is the most boring game in the world.

I remember when I was little, and I had quite a lot of games on the Super Nintendo and the Nintendo 64, because they were all special and the game's popularity didn't effect its price. The games were all unique, about completely different things, and the controller layout was really simple to understand and didn't require much effort to get used to it at all. The shape of the cartridges too made them easy to put into a collection, without the hassle of making sure you don't scratch the back of it, or look at the bottom to find out what platform it's for.

What happened to that? I miss it.

Everything wiped, new start!

I'm not going to talk about anything on here other than the fact that I've deleted all my old posts, cleared all my interests, and changed my picture, as-well as improving the layout and template of the page.

New start for 2011, and I feel like I'm a completely different person as I was when I was doing my National Certificate, which is one of the reasons I've cleared my interests and previous posts.